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This is a rush transcript from “The Five,” April 18, 2022. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS HOST: Hi, everyone. I’m Dana Perino along with Judge Jeanine Pirro, Jessica Tarlov, Sean Duffy, and Greg Gutfeld. It’s 5 o’clock in New York City, and this is THE FIVE.
America’s crime crisis not taken a holiday break over Easter. It was a bloody weekend with three mass shootings. In Pittsburgh, two teenagers are dead and at least 11 people were injured after gunmen opened fire at an Airbnb party, and two separate shootings in South Carolina leaving 18 people wounded.
A judge causing outrage after setting a $25,000 bond and supervision for a suspect charged in one of those shootings which would allow him to travel to and from work while wearing an ankle monitor. Police say that he has not yet posted bail. He has remained in jail at this moment.
And progressive policies getting called out for the crime wave ripping across the country. Democrat New York City Mayor Eric Adams putting the pressure on woke loss to put dangerous criminals back onto the street.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MAYOR ERIC ADAMS (D-NY): Major mistakes made throughout the years that destroyed the trust that the police commissioner is talking about. We have to rebuild that trust. But we can’t rebuild that trust by allowing those who are dangerous and that have a repeated history of violence to continue to be on our streets.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: Greg, we’re heading into the summer, we usually see these uptick in crimes in summer as well. And the mayor says that on the Sunday show and leading into the summer he has a choice to make. So, you know, side with the victims and the people of the city that want security, or with these woke Democrats like Bragg his prosecutor.
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CO-HOST: We went from Christ has risen to crime has risen. How do you like that?
PERINO: Did you work on that?
GUTFELD: Yes, it took me two hours.
PERINO: I like it though.
PERINO: It’s not about — it’s not about crime, it’s about the recidivism. I mean, the thing is, crime would go down if you stopped letting the people out that were committing the crimes. I think that’s what we’ve run into this problem when we go like when we look at every suspect in these crimes and they have just like a paper trail.
And you start to think, well, and all of this arena of society whether it is crime or education, the border, there’s a rejection of systems, in structure and process. We should be OK with that but then we started talking about the systemic problems, and we started taking apart these processes. And that’s really bad for a society that naturally decays, were already in traffic, were already get older.
Things fall apart, that is why you have prisons and you have laws, you have borders and you have standards. And now we’re basically saying that the same sensible rules and laws that we have for everybody are now not for everybody because we have the systemic bigotry, the systemic racism so we’ve reduced, in some cases, eliminated disincentives for crime and then crime goes up.
So, you have somebody who is now shooting suspect who was in house arrest. You’ve eliminated one disincentive —
GUTFELD: — which is prison. It might not be such a bad thing risk to commit crime if the worst thing you’re going to get is sit at home with your ankle bracelet. So that’s the issue. The issue here is that we are dismantling the things that society desperately needs to hold us together.
PERINO: Judge, what do you think about the decision to grant the bail at $25,000 and the ankle monitor option?
JEANINE PIRRO, FOX NEWS HOST: It’s absurd, and it’s a reflection of where we are as a society. You know, Greg is talking about the illumination of the disincentives. What we’re seeing now during the holidays you see crime surge among family members. And in the summer, you see crime on the streets among gang members.
But today, based upon what the left has done in the so-called social justice agenda is they’re making crimes at malls like the one in South Carolina, a club shooting in South Carolina and then at Airbnb in Pennsylvania. We’re talking about 10 people shot, 11 people shot, this kid getting out the house monitor with an ankle bracelet. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Whoever that judge is should be ashamed of herself or himself. What we’ve got is progressive policies that are destroying this country. And the truth is that it is the deliberate release of these individuals who go out and commit crime because they have been emboldened by the lack of consequence that we have created with the social justice agenda.
There is now a more — more of an interest in the criminal than the victim and I feel like a broken record I keep saying that. But it’s about the violent among us and trying to make them better, when the truth is that what they’re doing is making society worse.
And you know, this is something that is only going to get worse as people come into the border, you know, they talk about 23 and we’ll talk about this later on terrorist list. But there’s so many who don’t get caught, and you know, they see what’s going on. They see Americans aren’t being held accountable, why should they? Hell, I’m here for the American dream. And I don’t mean to put all, a lot of them are working hard.
But what we’ve got is a message that we have sent to 300 whatever million people, it’s OK if you see your neighbor’s house and you want something in it, you want the car, if you feel somewhat that’s an accident, we’ll let you get away with it. It’s terrible.
PERINO: The L.A. County sheriff rip that prosecutor, Gascon. I think we have the sound, if we could play that, please?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ALEX VILLANUEVA, SHERIFF, LOS ANGELES COUNTY SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT: I’ve had one conversation with him, now it’s his first week in office where we had the issue of mutual concern on a case, one particular case. But his predecessor we met every three months, I met her in her office, she met me in my office.
TUCKER CARLSON, FOX NEWS HOST: Yes.
VILLANUEVA: We shared concerns exactly what you’re saying we did where this gentleman unless you come from the public defender’s office, you are a Black Lives Matter activist. Those are about the only people he speaks do. Everyone else just doesn’t exist in this world.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: Jessica, your thoughts on that and just the crime in general that is increasing all across America.
JESSICA TARLOV, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: It’s objectively terrible and the showdowns that are going to go on between sheriffs and D.A.s or the mayors and D.A.s, that’s can be happening in liberal cities all over the country certainly as we head into another spade of elections where people make big decisions.
And I think what’s going on at least in liberal communities is people feel betrayed by these people that we elected to be ambassadors for our values. So, I’m someone who believes in second chances that I would rather someone who can get it right not go and even spend one night in prison if they can get back on the street and they cannot do it again.
But when people are continually letting you down in this way and it doesn’t seem like the officials that you put in charge of the problem who you thought had the same values as you get it, then I think people are either going to either stop showing up for elections. I don’t they necessarily going to turn on who they vote for, it would take a lot to make the upper west side vote for a Republican.
But it does leave an opportunity at least to be having this very tough conversations that Democrats in a lot of cases don’t have a lot of answers for. And it will be interesting to see if Republicans can come up with solutions themselves that can appeal to people. Because at this moment in liberal cities you’re not turning L.A. red. Right? But what are you going to do about it if you are someone who has a different point of view or who thinks that that these policies are really putting people in danger and I haven’t seen that coming from the other side?
GUTFELD: But it’s there except that every time a Republican tries to position themselves as pro-crime you paint them as racist or intolerant. And so, there is one party system in New York, no Republican bothers to vote anymore because there is no way. And this is happening in every city. There’s no other opposition because the opposition is essentially smeared at every opportunity.
TARLOV: But every Democrat is smeared as a communist on social —
GUTFELD: Aren’t they?
TARLOV: I forgot. No, I mean, the name-calling obviously when you’re talking about real issues it become a tremendous problem.
PIRRO: But I think that when you see the parents of children who have been killed who reach out to people like George Gascon and Boudin in San Francisco who can’t get an answer. People like Gascon wo are releasing convicted murderers without telling the victims that they’re coming out, those are the people who are calling out the Democrats. You don’t even need us to agree on.
TARLOV: That is happening but they are also —
PERINO: I want to get Sean in here.
TARLOV: But like Lucy McBath or these people who have lost their kids to gun violence they don’t feel like they’re being listened to by the Republican Party at all.
PIRRO: Well, but did the criminal go to jail?
TARLOV: They are in the Congress —
PIRRO: Did the criminal go to jail? Yes. If you’re saying that the guy didn’t go to jail, then she feels she wasn’t listened to, OK, but the criminal went to jail. And that’s the job.
SEAN DUFFY, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Judge, one side of this issue, I look at — I look at whether it’s Gascon, D.A.s and judges and sheriffs, they are all elected by people. This is a democracy. And so, we have people in L.A. and New York that are electing woke liberal officials that implement these policies and then we’re outraged by the crime that happens with the policy. But really, the people have asked for the policy because they voted for these folks to take the position of power.
And so, if you want to change the narrative you have to change the elected officials. And whether it’s Republicans or Democrats, I don’t care who, I just want someone to be pro-law enforcement.
One last point. When you look at these policies that have changed over the course over the course of the last two or three years and this explosion of crime. This wouldn’t have happened 30 years ago because we had ethics and morals and values and we had families. But something has happened.
To your point, Greg, in culture where there’s been a degradation that when you have lax policies where you can commit a crime and just get the ankle bracelet, people are committing them where 30 years ago they never would have —
TARLOV: What are you — the 90s?
DUFFY: — pick up the gun. I said 30 years. Well, —
PIRRO: That was in 90s.
TARLOV: Yes, OK.
PIRRO: I agree with you on that. Crime was pretty bad.
DUFFY: Not like worse, not like this.
PERINO: That’s how we got the crime bill —
PERINO: — that we talk about.
PERINO: Right. Up next, suspected terrorist caught crossing the border as Biden’s migrant crise takes a dangerous new turn.
GUTFELD: President Biden’s dumpster fire at the border getting even more dangerous as Joe gets ready to open the floodgates by ending Title 42. New numbers show border agents encounter 221,000 migrants in March. That’s the highest monthly total in more than 22 years. Border officials are warning that number will explode in May when Joe Biden officially pulls the plug on the Trump policy.
That comes as officials reveal to Fox News that nearly two dozen known or suspected terrorists were caught trying to cross illegally into the country last year. The White House downplaying that report earlier.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PETER DOOCY, FOX NEWS CORRESPONDENT: Two thousand illegal immigrants a day got away last month. Are you saying that you can say with certainty none of them are on a terror watch list?
JEN PSAKI, WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY: Here’s what we’re talking about. Encounters we know and a suspected terrorist attempting to cross the southern border they’re very uncommon. These 23 people the border patrol they stop them.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: That’s our very own Peter Doocy. Anyway. I think he also asked Jen whether or not the president would be apologizing to the border agent he had smeared —
GUTFELD: — by basically accusing them of whipping Haitian migrants and calling them racist and whatnot. Shall I roll that and then come to you for a reply or respond response or just your thoughts?
PERINO: I think that’s a great idea.
GUTFELD: All right. Let’s do that.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DOOCY: We’ve been told that the mounted border patrol officers president accused of whipping migrants have been notified they will not face criminal charges. So, when is the president going to apologize to them?
PSAKI: There is a process and an investigation that’s going at the Department of Homeland Security, I don’t have any updates on that.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Dana, I smell a rat.
GUTFELD: How hard is it to say I’m sorry?
PERINO: If you go back to that day, it was in September of last year and you watch the video and then you see what happened that afternoon, within moments people who have are familiar with horses and with the work that they are doing like no, no, no, they went whipping, that’s how you use the reins in order to maneuver the horse. You see the video right there.
By that afternoon they could have done that. Instead, for next like four or five days. They kept saying it more and more. The media absolutely piled on, then the president said that believe me they’re going to face the consequences for their actions.
So, then Mayorkas has to do this investigation. They slow walk the investigation, they put these guys who were out and about doing their jobs. Now they’ve been on desk duty while we have a migrant crisis.
PERINO: And do you remember that book “Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten,” it still applies.
PERINO: It’s still a great book for those millennials out there. You got to buy this book. You have to ask yourself what is the right thing to do here? The right thing to do is to apologize.
PERINO: And to express regret. And if they were to do that and be willing to do that this story would go away. Every day that they’re not willing to do that people are going to continue talking about it, and it’s not just because of this particular incident. It’s because as a metaphor for all the other things.
And one of those is consistently across all of the polls, one of the things that Biden polls low in is this question of, does the president care about things that you care about? Does he — does he have your best interest in mind? Does he think about your ideas and your values? And those numbers are very low.
PERINO: Something like this could help them. I don’t think that they’re — I don’t they would suffer too much, and the media is going cover an apology for five days? No, they’ll cover it for five seconds. But if they were to apologize, they could get it over with.
GUTFELD: Judge, as from your legal expertise, is there a legal reason why they want to apologize? You think maybe because that would open them up?
PIRRO: Not unless arrogance is the legal reason. They’re arrogant. They don’t think they have to apologize. Look, look at what they’re doing to this country. You got 220,000 came through the border in March. Right? They’re looking to get rid of Title 42 which allows the U.S. to turn away those people that we think might be a problem given a health problem that we have or had in this country.
So, now what they want to just say is, look, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter we’re just going to change the country. We don’t care what you think whether it’s — whether or not you think that we think you’re racist or whether or not you think that we should put criminals in jail, or whether or not you think that there should be border security.
And I just want to say one thing about that. I’m tired of hearing that the border is broken. It’s not broken. The immigration laws are not broken. People just don’t want to follow them. That’s like me saying, you know what, the United States Supreme Court refused to hear the SALT argument by those people paying taxes in New York, New Jersey and California. And you know, therefore, the tax laws are broken.
They’re not broken. They are just the way they are. And so, would they say I’m sorry? I don’t know. They’re not going to. But can they sue is the real question? So, can those guys who have been referred to as racist and spinning around with their so-called which are nothing more than reigns, yes, they could sue, they’ll lose their jobs, but they can sue. Will they win? Probably not. Sovereign immunity. Maybe then can go after a newspaper and then say that, the newspaper will say we were relying on the government.
GUTFELD: But yes, put a police sandman. Jessica, you were nodding along, you apparently agreed with everything the judge said?
TARLOV: Every single word. No. I was thinking about how big this country is while everyone talks about these issues. And that it’s impossible to understand the experience of 280 million other people at any moment, or 300 million whatever it is. Like when we talk about that story in September, I had to admit that I do not write horses often. I have not thrown reigns around and I haven’t visited the border.
And people need to have like a little more empathy or just kindness towards each other for their experiences, and I think that we would end up in a lot, in a lot better place from that. Like, we fundamentally, I think have similar feelings about immigrants that they are good people —
TARLOV: — and the vast majority of them want to come here who want to work, who want to pay taxes if we give them the opportunity and we see that in polling time and time and time again. That they want a legal pathway to citizenship and then people are fine with it.
And you know, I was listening to Mark Kelly who obviously is in a tough race, and he said, I don’t want Title 42 gone until there are solutions. And it feels like this might be a moment before we get to 2024 which is going to be terrible like every presidential election is, where we could come up with a few solutions that now that everyone has admitted that 220,000 per month coming across the border is too many.
PIRRO: It’s crazy.
TARLOV: And I feel like there can be progress.
GUTFELD: I hope you’re right. What do you think, Sean?
DUFFY: First off, I think that the White House mission accomplished. They were able to get every news network for a week to cover the horse whipping story and on one is going to —
DUFFY: — cover the fact that it actually wasn’t true, so that was accomplished border patrol is really bad. And I keep asking the question, why are they opening the border? Why they’re letting 121,000 people come across the border.
And I don’t know the answer to that. But I just know it helps the cartels, it helps pedophiles who want to molest little kids. It helps Xi Jinping in China who wants to sell drugs into our country. It helps terrorist who want to organize and come to America.
And not only that, you actually have to get a visa and do as part of the system to get in. Now you just got to Mexico and come across the southern border. None of this helps America and I don’t understand the strategy behind what Biden is doing because it doesn’t help Americans.
PIRRO: So, the question is, what is Joe Biden’s end goal?
PIRRO: How many people come through? When does it ever end? Why is he doing it? How many people out there deserve to be in the United States. Everyone from the southern hemisphere. I mean, that’s the question.
TARLOV: Well, we do have millions of open jobs. And the people who are coming over who will do jobs that Americans will not do. And Republicans and Democrats all profit off of undocumented labor.
PERINO: But by not — but by not securing the border it makes legal immigration that much harder, and that is — it’s a real frustration for those of us here and there’s many of us at this channel but certainly at this table that have said we want more immigrants to come, we want a legal process.
GUTFELD: That’s all, yes.
PERINO: Right. It’s a process.
GUTFELD: Exactly. Yes.
PERINO: It’s a process.
GUTFELD: I agree with you. And I agree that we must move on.
PERINO: We must.
GUTFELD: Excellent. Coming up, the White House apparently deploying the Easter bunny —
PERINO: My God.
GUTFELD: — to save Joe Biden from answering tough questions.
PIRRO: Biden’s poll number are in a free fall and members of his own party are warning of a midterm wiped out. So, the liberal media has found a new way to spin this tsunami of bad news plaguing the administration. Just say everything is out of Joe’s hands.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS, CHIEF ANCHOR, ABC NEWS: When it comes to inflation there’s not much the president can do about it.
UNKNOWN: There’s not much that he can do about it, but at the same time people’s perception and that’s what’s important.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PIRRO: And the White House has found a new strategy to shield Biden from tough questions, a staff dress up as the Easter bunny appears to interpret the president and usher him away while he was talking about Afghanistan. All right, Greg, who was in that Easter bunny?
GUTFELD: I don’t know, but finally he found some hair he didn’t want to sniff.
PIRRO: That’s very good.
PERINO: That should have been said in two hours.
PIRRO: When he’s talking to him — wait a minute, when he’s talking to him you didn’t see the whole thing.
GUTFELD: You know who that is, that might be Kamala.
PIRRO: Yes. Well, —
GUTFELD: You know, that’s the only way he can get close to Joe.
PERINO: How about Susan Rice? We haven’t seen Susan Rice.
GUTFELD: But it’s like his slogan. I mean, that should be his campaign slogan. Joe Biden, not much he can do. Because that’s like, you know, it’s like — because that’s kind of where we are right now. We do know that he’s not running the show. He just shows that —
PIRRO: Who do you think is running the show?
GUTFELD: I don’t know. But you know, I can’t believe it’s him because he seems so out of it all the time. I don’t have — I don’t think he makes decisions.
DUFFY: He doesn’t.
GUTFELD: I think he gets up. He sits down, he enjoys wearing the jacket and the sunglasses, but it’s got to be the chief of staff.
PIRRO: Ron Klain.
GUTFELD: And —
PIRRO: What do you think, Sean, you’re nodding your head, who do you think is running the place?
DUFFY: So, I don’t know who runs it, which is my frustration. I like the president to make sure I know that he is calling the ball and wanting to show. But it’s interesting, to Greg’s point, that they are trying to say it’s not Joe Biden’s fault. One point nine trillion dollars of a COVID bill one year ago, massive amounts of money. You attack American energy oil and gas.
I mean, if we went back to drill baby drill, go for wells, pipelines, fracking, we’re going to produce energy here. I mean, that would go a long way to reducing inflation which is the number one issue for all Americans right now.
PIRRO: All right, so, Dana, you know, they kept saying that inflation was transitory and then it was supply chain, then it was a pandemic, and then it was that it was Putin, OK. So, what are they going to say or what are they saying now given his numbers are probably as low as —
PERINO: Well, all those things that you just listed, I call it the five inflation stages of grief, because now they’re finally getting to the place of acceptance. And acceptance is like, I guess I don’t have any control over it. I guess there’s nothing I can do. You know, they ignored Larry Summers, the former Treasury Secretary last year when he said you guys is going to be a problem.
The American Rescue Plan was so big it put so much money in so quickly, that now you have Democrats from the Obama era saying it was too big. So, that’s how you helped fuel inflation there. They started to blame Putin. And now — but given all of this, Senator Warren is actually urging him to go even further left and to do more.
So, I actually think that it’s letting President Biden off weight easy to say that he’s not in charge, and that he’s not running the show. I think that he is the one making decisions, and they’ve been poor decisions. And in some cases, you have to say that perhaps maybe he needs to make some personnel changes, but he doesn’t make — he’s either not making decisions, or he’s making bad decisions.
PIRRO: All right, well, what happens with the Midterms, Jessica? I mean, if there is as they predict a red wave in November, you know, what will they say? What will they say caused it, the Democrats?
TARLOV: Losing, Republic?
PIRRO: I mean, what would they say?
TARLOV: That this is the historical trend, that a President who has control of the Senate in the house usually gets to yours, and then they lose in huge fashion. Obama got the ACA, Biden got infrastructure and the American Rescue Plan, and they’ll say, you know, when we went out with unemployment at 3.6 percent, which is the lowest that it’s been in five decades —
PERINO: But don’t you think, Jessica, also that the far left will say it’s because you did it for us.
TARLOV: 100 percent. Well —
PERINO: And the moderates will say, oh, it’s because you didn’t listen to us. And then there’ll be a big fight.
TARLOV: There will always be a fight.
PIRRO: Oh, it’s a big fight.
TARLOV: There was — someone said to me today, and it’s such a good point, I’m sure it’s all — it’s occurred to us before. A party that has Bernie Sanders and Joe Manchin in it is too big. Those are not the same kind of people on any level. And the same thing existed when the Tea Party rose to power on the right that it’s — or even Trump Republicans and Romney Republicans that don’t have that much in common.
But Elizabeth Warren, to your point, wrote an op-ed in the New York Times today and half of it I disagreed with, but the first half I really agreed with and she had this line, Democrats won elections when we show that we understand the painful economic realities facing Americans. And that’s what Joe Biden did in 2020 with the health issue with COVID-19.
And Dems do have a chance to hold on to some of these seats and took — maybe hold on to the Senate. Mitch McConnell even said, I really don’t want to get ahead of my skis here. If you just say, I know the inflation is bad, I acknowledge it, these are the specific policies we’re going to enact to try to help this but it is a global problem.
PIRRO: Okay. But — so, you think that the Democrats may have a chance to turn some of this around?
TARLOV: Some of it but the prediction s could be up to 60 seats.
DUFFY: The way — the way they wanted to turn it around was to spend a $5 trillion Bill Back Better bill. They want more spending that would make the problem even worse. So, I mean, I don’t — I don’t think they’ve got the right priorities to actually fix inflation. All their policies are making it worse.
PIRRO: All right, major hypocrisy from liberal media outlets trashing Elon Musk’s bid for Twitter. We’ll expose it next.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Elon Musk offered to buy Twitter for over $40 billion so he can loosen its free speech rules. That’s how badly white guys want to use the N-word.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Elon built electric cars, he’s going to Mars, why is he even involving himself with Twitter? It would be like if the Prince of England gave it all up just to marry an actor.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
TARLOV: Saturday Night Live poking fun at Elon Musk’s $43 billion offer for Twitter as more outlets bash his plan to turn the platform into a town square for free speech. The Washington Post accused of hypocrisy after its editorial board put out this op-ed titled let’s hope Elon Musk doesn’t win his bid for Twitter. But as critics are pointing out, The Washington Post is owned by billionaire Jeff Bezos. In fact, five media outlets who have been critical of Musk are also run by billionaires.
Sean, I’m going to come to you first.
TARLOV: We could be done.
TARLOV: No. Do you think that billionaires should be able to own media outlets?
DUFFY: Of course, they should, right? I mean, what the problem is you have billionaires that are liberals that think that their ideas when in the public square can’t stand up to debate, and they can’t be challenged, and therefore they have to censor speech that that is an opposition to the liberal perspective. I mean, I think that’s where they’re at.
And, I mean, this is — my whole take on why Twitter is so — the board actually is so upset about Elon Musk coming in, I think when Elon comes in, you’re going to — he’s going to want to see all of the algorithms, all of the garbage that they were doing to censor conservatives, what they did in the 2020 election, that might have violated election laws.
And if he sees that, exposes it, all of a sudden, they have some real problems on their hands. That’s why they’re trying to keep him out. They’re not going to send it from the board to the shareholders. Because if it goes to the shareholders, I think this is going to be a win for Elon.
TARLOV: Greg, what do you think? Do you think that a public town square is actually attainable considering the fact that you have 1000s of people that are policing, misinformation, child porn, I mean, all this stuff that goes on these platforms?
GUTFELD: But I don’t think it’s — I don’t think it’s even about that. I think it’s always been about what — how the media exploits Twitter. It’s a drug drip, you know. It’s that — everybody wakes up to it. And so, it’s like — the reason why this is so important is that he is going to take over the thing that provides the drug to everybody else.
So, what you have is — the reason why — I mean, one of the reasons why you have the loudest, hottest takes in media is because reporters are competing for likes, as opposed to stories. They used to go out. Now it’s like, if I can get 35 retweets, or then 350 retweets, and then I’m guilty of this, I mean, I did this forever. I was like, sitting here on THE FIVE thinking, will this thing work? Will that thing work? And you can — it’s like playing a video game with jokes and stuff like that.
So, I think it’s — but what it’s done is it has it has phenomenally changed media. And the only way to unchecked it to get that thing fix is to kill that drug drip and he’s got to do that. I also think it’s an amazing mind exercise for anybody to think about what would you buy if you could change something? It’s not like buying something you love. It’s like, you know, I would love to buy Rolling Stone because I grew up listening to — I’m reading Rolling Stone, and it’s a terrible magazine, you know. You want to change it.
And I think it’s an interesting thing to watch somebody who buys something that they have a problem with, and then they’re going to fix it. It’s kind of neat. And it’s a nice little exercise to think about.
PERINO: It’s a good — that’s a good topic for tomorrow’s “FASTEST.”
GUTFELD: It is.
TARLOV: What would you buy?
GUTFELD: I would by Highlights.
PERINO: I don’t know. I don’t want to buy. I like — but how do you improve on it?
GUTFELD: Exactly. That’s why I said Rolling Stone is so terrible. You could buy it and you can make it into a music magazine again.
PERINO: The thing about liberals being mad about billionaires owning media companies, they’re not mad about who owns the Atlantic.
PERINO: Which is the widow —
TARLOV: She’s fantastic.
PERINO: Exactly. I mean, that’s the point, right? I mean, it’s the same — it’s the same thing. I do believe that there’s a weird thing. Maybe it’s not weird. But I’m curious about the relationship and friendship between Elon Musk and the founder of Twitter, Jack Dorsey, who recently left, who was also like, into cryptocurrencies and everything.
I’m thinking — I think Jack Dorsey is like this — something needs to happen over here. We should do something over here? Like — there’s like —
GUTFELD: It’s not just him. There are other people behind this that are like, way smarter than anybody knows. I mean, I think that — I think they’re — I think they’re kind of working in tandem.
PERINO: Maybe. I think so. I’m watching for it.
TARLOV: What are you watching for in all this?
PIRRO: I’m watching for Elon Musk to get it done. And I think he will get it done. And as opposed to some of the other things that people are looking for, I’m just looking for a place that values free speech and the ability of people to say what they’re entitled to say, you know, I don’t much care about those people who are editors and then who think — or who are writers and then think, you know, if I put something here, I get so many likes, I’ll be considered a great writer.
I’m concerned about the shareholders. So, if this doesn’t go to Elon Musk, I think there’s going to be a huge action, class action, because that board will have breached its fiduciary responsibility and its fiduciary duties because they — that board is not there to bankroll an agenda for some political organization that pretty much wants them push anti-free speech agenda. And that’s what’s going on with Twitter today.
All I want is a place where there’s free speech, where — and it doesn’t have to be monitored. All of a sudden, they’re like, oh, we can’t do it. It’s too much. It’s not too much. If child porn is on there, you shut it down. You know, and if there’s a problem with imminent deadly physical force, you shut it down. But just leave conservatives alone. Leave people on the left alone. Just let people say what they want to say.
PERINO: And that’s all she’s got to say.
TARLOV: Good thing because we have no more time. “THE FASTEST” is up next.
DUFFY: Welcome back. Time for “THE FASTEST.” And Judge Jeanine gets to sing along. All right, first up, Americans are drowning in spam according to a new report. There has been a huge rise of those annoying junk text messages, emails, and social media posts. In March alone, the average person got hit with 42 pieces of spam and not from Greg Gutfeld. Greg, is it a problem for you?
GUTFELD: I get 42 an hour.
GUTFELD: And all of them are from work.
PIRRO: It’s not spam, Greg.
GUTFELD: Oh, you know, I try — I try to block stuff from our own company. Not that it’s not — I mean, it’s just like, you know, stuff about stuff you should be doing. You know, you have to have — on Easter, I was getting stuff from Fox on Easter. Compliance.
PIRRO: You’re the only one who’s (INAUDIBLE).
PERINO: Well, I don’t understand — so, Congress passed something, a law.
DUFFY: For spam, right.
PERINO: And it stopped it for a while. And then I guess, the tech — I guess the spammers figure out how to get around that, so then you have to pass another law?
DUFFY: Maybe we do this because I get spammed all the time.
PIRRO: I don’t think we have to pass another law. I don’t think they enforced it. I mean, it’s real easy. They don’t enforce it. I guess so much — I get calls all the time. And they want to know about your car.
PERINO: Car warranty?
PIRRO: What is it with the car thing? And so, I don’t answer it.
DUFFY: An insurance, car insurance?
PIRRO: Is that it?
TARLOV: It’s to scare you. But I like now that at least some of them show up as potential spam in the caller ID on your phone.
TARLOV: Because what happened at first was that they would have like one digit different from your phone number and my dad — me and my sister got cell phones actually got us all sequential numbers.
PIRRO: Oh, geez.
TARLOV: So —
PIRRO: So, you think it’s family.
TARLOV: Or some — you know, it feels like cosmically bad to reject the call.
DUFFY: So, there’s another Sean Duffy that is the CEO of Omaha Health and in Zoom contacts, my contacts are his contacts. So, I get calls like six times a day, sometimes trying to sell me stuff as if I’m the CEO of Omaha Health. I am not. Stop —
GUTFELD: You should buy things.
PIRRO: I would just going to say, would I love that?
PERINO: Put in the staples order.
DUFFY: I might. All right, all right, up next, could NASA trigger an alien invasion? And Oxford scientists warns that scenario is possible as the space agency moves forward with the plan to beam information about Earth’s location to outer space. So, Judge, you’re an expert on space.
PIRRO: No, I don’t — I don’t know. I don’t know what to say. Don’t call on me.
DUFFY: All right, what’s the level of perspective on sending out our location to space?
TARLOV: I think it’s — I just find the fact that we’ve all kind of come around to the idea that extraterrestrial life is real, is kind of great.
PERINO: Not me.
PIRRO: Is that what this is about? I have something to say about that.
PERINO: It’s right there.
TARLOV: Aliens? It’s on the screen.
PIRRO: Yes, E.T., phone home, that one.
PIRRO: So, go ahead, Dana. Hit it.
DUFFY: So — go ahead.
PERINO: I think tomorrow I’m going to take allergy medicine and see how this all goes. I am not a believer in extraterrestrial world. I know that there are like, government documents that now we’re all supposed to just accept it. I just — I’m a skeptic.
DUFFY: Do you not watch “TUCKER?” Because —
PERINO: I also — I also sit next to Bill Hemmer. And I’m not going to say he’s a believer, but he is curious.
DUFFY: Greg, you?
GUTFELD: Is you curious? How thirsty do we have to be? Like, we got enough. We got — oh, let’s —
PERINO: Is that a problem?
GUTFELD: Let’s let everybody out there know we’re over here. I mean, how desperate? It’s like — it’s like run Instagram for the universe. No, you know what? Leave me alone. We got enough issues. Wouldn’t it be interesting to see if we could unite as a planet to fight some kind of alien because my dream is to meet an alien and eat it.
PIRRO: Of course it is.
DUFFY: But I wonder, how do you send out your coordinates in space, right? I mean, we’re shooting what out there?
PIRRO: No, because they’re already tuned into them. Can’t you tell? It’s not them speaking.
DUFFY: I don’t know. I don’t really care. I’m not sure it’s true or not, but I don’t know — I don’t know if aliens are coming to find us and attack us.
PERINO: We’ll ask Hemmer tomorrow.
DUFFY: All right, “ONE MORE THING” is coming up next.
PIRRO: I know.
PERINO: It’s time now for “ONE MORE THING.” You got to check this out. One Chicago teen — I love this kid. He is working as the Easter Bunny to save money for college. 13-year-old Kaden Myers made the most of the holiday yesterday. He posed for pictures and he set up a scavenger hunt in his neighborhood. Parents pay him for the activities. He made $700, some of which he invested in cryptocurrencies —
PERINO: Because he wants to go to college. He’s interested in engineering and he wants to one day become a volunteer firefighter like his father as well.
GUTFELD: What did they do to the kids’ faces?
PERINO: We just want to make sure those kids are safe, I guess. I don’t know.
PIRRO: It’s adorable.
PERINO: Also, a new podcast episode on Everything Will Be Okay, the limited series edition. I talked to J.T. Harding who has basically written all the number one songs that you love from country music. His book is Party Like A Rock Star. And we had a great conversation. Greg, you’re next.
GUTFELD: All right, tonight, great, great show. Dr. Drew is back. And we got the Charlie Hurt. He’s a machine. Emily Compagno, Kat Timpf, it’s going to be a barn burner. Again, don’t burn any barns. Let’s do this.
Greg’s Drunk Panda News. You know, a lot of people don’t realize this, but pandas, they love the booze. And when they get — when they get on it, they can’t get off. And take a look at these various zoos around the country with their drunk panda problems. They’re just — they drink and they just can’t control. They fall. It’s terrible. Look at this. This is embarrassing. Always landing, you know, it’s like — thank God they’ve got that fur.
Oh, look at that guy. He had like four martinis. This guy had — yes, that was — that was after ladies night at the Margaritaville. So, this is it. This is it. This is why pandas shouldn’t be drinking. You know, but they drink to get, you know, romantic and stuff, but it just — you know, it doesn’t work.
PERINO: It’s not working.
GUTFELD: It’s not working. Look at this guy. Drunk pandas. I think that’s gonna be a new thing.
PIRRO: That is, I’m sure. OK, it’s my turn. A class from a West Virginia Elementary School got a real surprise last week. These students from Buckhannon Academy Elementary School read aloud to an attentive group of dogs and cats at the Louis Upshur animal control facilities. As a reward for locking in 96,000 minutes of reading to the animals in one month during a recent challenge, as a result, they got to go and visit their furry dogs and friends.
Administrators said they hoped the fun reward would be — motivate the students and encourage some adoptions. Now, what I want to know is if they read for 96,000 minutes, weren’t they already there?
GUTFELD: I don’t get it.
PIRRO: How did they win it to end up going there?
GUTFELD: And do the animals like being read to?
PIRRO: Excuse me, excuse me. So, if they will read them —
GUTFELD: You are out of control. No, do pets like to be read to?
PIRRO: Yes, they do. It’s very kind.
PERINO: If you’re in a cage, wouldn’t you like someone to come?
GUTFELD: I’d like to get out of the cage. No thanks on the books.
PIRRO: No, that’s why the kids go there to bring them home.
PERINO: All right, Jessica, go next.
TARLOV: I got to hit it. OK, firefighters are fantastic, and New Jersey ones are great too. These firefighters repelled down an elevator shaft in a daring rescue of six trapped children. They got those six kids out who got stuck between floors. Then the elevator mechanic worked for over an hour. Temperature is rising, all the scary stuff.
No one was injured. It was very cute story. And actually someone that I follow on Twitter, his son was one of the kids who was trapped in — was one of those trapped kids.
PERINO: Those trapped kids.
PIRRO: That’s great. God bless.
PERINO: Sean, what do you have?
DUFFY: Greg, animals are great. So, I got a story about Amir. He is — that’s the name, Amir. He’s a gorilla in the Lincoln Park Zoo, and he’s become addicted to cell phones like my kids. So, when people come up, they’re showing pictures of their YouTube videos and their family pictures, he watches them. He wants to take selfies with them.
It’s gotten so bad that the park has had to keep people away from his cage because he’s actually getting attacked by some other gorillas in the park. So, again, it’s — phones are not just addictive for your kids, they’re addictive for gorillas.
PERINO: So, don’t take your phone to the zoo or something?
DUFFY: Don’t show them pictures.
PERINO: Maybe? All right, I don’t know. That’s it for us. “SPECIAL REPORT” is up next. Hi, Bret.
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